"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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