if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We were destined to go to rehab together
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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