just come out here and I will go home with you...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
