He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
