like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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