all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
there is glitter all over my balls
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