i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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