Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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