What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
