I accidentally burped into my bong.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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