you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize