dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
