i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
