After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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