the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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