Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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