also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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