**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
