kristin has been a bad kristin
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
