Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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