I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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