I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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