glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
