Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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