i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
