The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
