wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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