did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
