And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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