Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
