You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
