It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
