it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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