Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm like, not good at living.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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