I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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