is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
