Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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