I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
