i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
