biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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