well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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