I'm really into asian looking animals
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
