Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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