the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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