are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
