Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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