i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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