dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
