If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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