Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
