I'm sorry my penis didn't work
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
