you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize