thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
