if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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