I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
