i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
