i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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