Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize