im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
