i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize