No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dear god my vagina.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
