And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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