But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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