Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
