i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
