Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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