I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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