you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid