I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌