it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
