So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize