exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
