glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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