btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
